Normally, I reference movies that I’d recommend. Not this time. However, pairing this movie with Crumbs Bake Shop is completely apropos and I couldn’t resist the opportunity. Besides the fact that most movies should not have sequels (e.g., Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, The Land Before Time II through XIII – sorry kids, I like Littlefoot as much as the next guy), no one wants to see a giant baby parading around town with his older brother and babysitter captive in his overalls’ pocket. To make matters worse, Walt Disney made another sequel, Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. WTF (“what the…fun”), Walt Disney, why can’t peeps just be normal sizes? But, I digress. So if you watch Honey, I Blew up the Kid and think it blows, don’t point your sticky cupcake finger at me. You’ve been adequately warned. Also, sorry if you like this movie.
Crumbs is new in town. They first opened their doors in 2003 on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, NY and since then, have opened various locations on the west coast and now one in Chicago. It is only fitting that Chicago should have a piece of the cupcake. They serve 50 fork-licking flavors daily (including the Baba Booey, Artie Lange, and Elvis) in four different sizes—taste, classic, signature, and COLOSSAL (the CAPS were necessary). This gargantuan cupcake towers at six and a half inches high. Have a birthday coming up? Bar/bat mitzvah, perhaps? It serves 6 to 8 sugar lovers, or those coming of age.
Now, I’m rarely one who will eat a cupcake with a fork. I like to go the infant route and shove it in my face with my hands. The difference between me and the little tyke is that most of it makes it in my mouth. But Crumbs’ Signature cupcake is six ounces and almost four inches high, which calls for a fork and sharing. They should call this the mini colossal cupcake. Naturally, I ordered two—Blackbottom Cheesecake Brownie cupcake and Tiramisu cupcake. Let the eating commence!
I am ashamed to say that I ate the whole Blackbottom Cheesecake Brownie cupcake by myself. Who am I kidding? I am proud. Then, I didn’t eat for two days straight. Another lie. This work of art consisted of brownie cake with cheesecake baked in, topped with vanilla cream cheese frosting covered with brownie chunks and vanilla cream cheese drizzle. The brownie portion made up most of the cupcake and it was chocolatey and cakey. As promised, cheesecake was baked in for the double whammy. I could have used a little more of the cheesecake. Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription…is more cheesecake! Nevertheless, I was not disappointed. I got my chocolate, vanilla, and cheesecake fix all in one delightfully large cupcake. Don’t even ask how many calories this thing cost me.
Later on, Ian and I split the Tiramisu cupcake during the intermission of Lohengrin at Lyric Opera—just your typical Wednesday night. Everyone else was eating their $15 plain, boxed dinners while we were digging into a gourmet dessert. The Tiramisu cupcake was a vanilla cake filled with vanilla custard and topped with vanilla cream cheese frosting and sprinkled with cocoa powder and soaked with coffee. We inhaled it and left no crumbs.
You can’t eat in at Crumbs but this is a perfect dessert to bring home for two, or 6-8 if you opt for the colossal cupcake. A machine that blows things up to gigantic sizes isn’t even necessary.